Cakes and ham sandwiches

So this morning, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled 7 to 2 that a cake baker in Colorado did not have to make a wedding cake for a gay couple because it violated his religious beliefs. 

A couple of things struck me about this ruling.  The first of which it was 7 to 2.  Two justices did not find in favor of the Colorado cake baker.  One major news provider called this a narrow margin.  These folks obviously graduated with Common Core Math because that does not seem like a narrow margin to me.  5 to 4 would be a narrow margin.  Then again, I had the old school math.  Line up the decimal points, add the columns and carry the tens.  Pretty basic.  Memorize your multiplication tables and you will go far in life.......but I digress.

Here is another thing that bothers me about this case.  This couple was not denied service.  The baker offered to sell them anything that was already made, he just could not in his good conscience, design a cake for something he felt went against his religious beliefs.  He has a history of not designing Halloween cakes as well.  What does one have to do with the other?  Many Christians choose not to celebrate Halloween.  So, this guy is already on the record as a fundamentalist, for lack of a better term.  The town knows how he feels.  He's not denied service to anyone in the past.  Someone comes in, they want to buy something ready made, not a problem.  Here you go.  Take the money, give the treat, go along your merry way.  Everyone is happy. 

Now you have this couple, who wants one of this guy's cakes to celebrate a marriage, which at that time is not legal in the state of Colorado.  They have to fly clear across the country to get married in Massachusetts, then come back to Colorado to have their reception.  I get it.  The guy makes amazing cakes.  They are to die for, and they really want a cake to celebrate their union.  They are refused a custom cake.  They are not refused a cake, they are refused a custom cake.  Wouldn't that be the same as me, a Baptist woman, walking into a Halal deli and demanding they make me a ham sandwich?  Wouldn't the owner of this deli have the right to refuse me that sandwich because it goes against their religious belief?  I can have any other sandwich in the deli.  I am not being denied service, I just can't have that one thing.  Do I run to the Human Rights Commission and register a complaint because this deli won't make me a ham sandwich?  I mean, seriously.

I understand, there is a history of persecution in the world.  But I also understand, that we, as a people, have grown and learned (supposedly) from this history.

I know that I am going to upset and probably offend some with this post.  I get that.  But before you call me names, understand, that I do my best to treat everyone the same.  I don't care who you are, what God you worship (or if you don't worship).  I don't care if you are black, white, brown, red, yellow, purple, or green around the gills.  I also don't care if you are gay, straight, whatever.  I accept you for who you are.  I am also adult enough to understand that I am not always going to get everything that I want.  And I might just have to walk across the street to get that ham sandwich. 

Yup, my heart is working this morning.....

Sat down at my computer and checked my email.  Pretty standard thing.  Right?  Saw an email from Apple, saying my info had been updated.  What?  How did my info get updated at 5am?  What the heck?  Logged into my Apple account, which needs 2 levels of security I might add, only to realize that the email I am looking at is from the 14th.  Today is the 22nd.  You do the math, my brain hurts.

So then, before you can log out, you have to verify your information.  Which means I have to go downstairs to find my purse, to find my wallet, to get my credit card so I can find the code on the back of the card so I can save my non changes and exit the program.  Thank you Apple for keeping my life safe.  Now if I could just learn to look at the DATES on the email, I'd be doing much better.

It wasn't a wasted call

So I started digesting the information I gleaned yesterday, and I realized that the phone call was not a wasted effort.  I realized that those 30 - 60 seconds of conversation actually provided a wealth of detail.  Now I may be grasping at straws, and I have not had a chance to run any of this by my ENT, but, hear me out.  When I was going into 5th grade, I came down with poison ivy.  Well, it turned into a secondary bacterial infection.  I remember it being all over my body, from the top of my head to the middle of my thighs.  I remember it going into at least one ear (I keep thinking left).  You know how a riverbed dries and cracks?  It kind of looks like a mosaic?  That's what my skin looked like.  It was nasty.  And painful.  I remember the pain. 

Anyway, the scans my ENT did show mild chronic infection in my mastoid on the left side.  Now, I have no symptoms.  However, sometimes, I get this nasty smell in my nose that I can't get rid of.  What if (and this is a big what if, but it's possible), that stuff that shows up on the scans, is actually scar tissue from that nasty childhood infection, and what if, when the Meniere's kicks in, the excess fluid causes it to soften up, and then the smell come out.  It's a thought.  I know, it's a stretch, but it's worth investigating. 

So, there you have my thoughts for the day.  They are random, crazy, and probably way off base, but I had to put them down, because who knows, they might just lead somewhere. 

I tried

I lost a part of me today, but now that it's gone, I realize how much pain carrying it around was actually causing me.  Now I need to adjust to this newfound freedom. 

I attempted to speak with someone that I hadn't spoken to in about 12 years.  144 months.  Yeah, a long time.  I had some questions regarding some things that happened a long time ago, that I was hopeful they would be able to answer or give me more information.  The conversation went something like this:

Hi, XY it's Cathy, is XX home?
Hiya Cathy! Let me get her for you.

Hello,
Hi, it's Cathy.
<silence> Cathy who?
Seriously, we are going to play that?  Look, I just called to ask about when I had poison ivy so bad.  You see, I'm losing my hearing.   Whatever you can tell me would be helpful, and I won't bother you ever again.

XX proceeded to tell me about the infection I had which is the information I was looking for.  I hung up the phone and tears started running down my cheeks.  You see, the last time I spoke to this person, I told them I was going to be a grandmother.  That did not go over well.  We hadn't spoken since.

At this point, all I can do is pray.  Pray that this person will come to know the saving grace of Jesus.  Pray that this person will realize just what they are missing out on, but most importantly for their soul. 

And as I write this, I feel relief.  Relief in knowing that at least I picked up the phone and tried to start a conversation.  Now I understand.  It's not me.  This time, it's not me.

Decisions decisions

I was informed by my ENT doc, that I have to have surgery on my right ear.  He wants to put a shut in there to drain the fluid from the endolymphatic sac.  It's supposed to relieve the pressure and help with the dizziness I have been having. 

I have been researching this on the internet.  Yeah, I know, I'm looking for trouble.  Here's the thing.  The success rate of this surgery is about 70%, and after 5 years it drops down to about 50% success rate.

There is another surgery, that has a 95% success rate, but it's a bigger surgery.  It cuts the balance nerve in the ear.  They cut a hole in your head to do this.  But it works. 

I really don't want to have to go through another surgery in 5 years to fix this again.  I want this done now.  And while we are at it, can we make the ringing go away too?  It's getting louder and more persistent.  It's affecting my sleep, my ability to concentrate, and my general outlook on life. 

Please keep me lifted up in prayer.  This is a tough decision. 

I faced a fear today

I faced a fear today.  When I woke up and logged on to my computer to send out my daily Bible verse, I saw the Google Doodle of Virginia Woolf.  An old fear in the depths of my soul started inching up, and when I actually faced it, the hatred and fear I felt towards someone in my past was replaced with pity.  Bear with me as I explain.

Many years ago, I was in a very tumultuous relationship.  I lived with a man several years older than me for just over six and a half years.  I joke that if I had just hung on for six more months, it would have been a common law marriage.  I also know that if I had hung on for 6 more months, I probably would have died.  When I say the relationship was tumultuous, what I really mean is that it was violent.  Very violent. 

Anyway, this person had a fascination with the move “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”  I remember being forced (yes, physically forced) to watch this movie one evening.  I kept falling asleep during it, and I was consistently woken up.  I remember this person, drunk and high, saying this movie was so great, and so esoteric.  That was one of his favorite words.  Esoteric.  Oh how I hate that word to this day.

Anyway, I was afraid of this movie.  Until today.  I finally looked up the movie, and read about it, and I realized something.  I realized that this person who hurt me, belittled me, raped me, and beat me is very sick.  I knew that, but it never really sunk in.  Until today.  And the hatred I had has become pity, because this person literally threw away his life.  I feel sorry for him because he has no idea what he could have been.  I am still angry that I allowed him to hurt me, but the all-consuming anger has gone.  My soul actually feels lighter.  The only way I can explain it is that it’s like shedding all your winter gear to step into the sunshine and warmth of the tropics. 

Anyway, I am ready to move forward, because this part of my past has been laid to rest.