I have to learn to let go. 

Much easier said than done.  My husband once said that I am like a pit bull, I get a hold of something, and I don't let go.  I see that in myself in many aspects.  I just have to keep going until I prove that I am right.  And that's not a good thing. 

I find myself doing it with my children.  Now my children are married and have children of their own mind you.  I am done raising children.  Yet, I keep trying to make them conform to my beliefs and ideals.  For the most part, I would say they are pretty good at letting me know when I have gone over the line. I still want what's best for them and their families, and this little voice inside says, "if you just do this, it will be so much easier".  Yeah, no.

I try help out when things are tough.  Be it a shopping trip to the store, or a shopping trip to my pantry/freezer.  I try to help out with the grands, although I have to admit, it is easier to help with the boys as opposed to the girls and boy.  Family dynamics are different.

This is where the learning to let go part comes in.  There are past hurts.  Real and imagined.  Some are probably mountains that should be mole hills.  Some are very different beliefs.  Sometimes these beliefs are at odds with each other.  Big time at odds with each other.  Like night and day, and in my mind I am day. 

So here I am, wanting to have something better, stronger; yet afraid to take that step because of the past.  Because, like a pit bull, I am hanging on, and I shouldn't.